H'lo all, still around!

First of all, BIG apologies for being so slow again. This keeps happening again and again, and at first I was afraid to admit it, but I think I can safely attribute why I've been so slack on deadlining and trades and whatnot.

I've got a HUGE creative block. I've (very obviously) not written or drawn anything in AGES, and I'm struggling to find motivation to create altogether. In terms of GTM, I'm going through extreme stages of being motivated, then not being able to write whatsoever, and when I do, it feels forced. With the episode due last week, I'd written up the bulk of the story save tweaking here and there, and... wow. I didn't like it. It read to me as if the story had been written due to force of habit, rather than out of creative spontaneity. And I miss that creative spontaneity.

Since April, my work's been on a steady drip to an utter stop. I've not written poetry, songs or even diary entries for myself for months, and I'm struggling to find this creative motivation. I know that if I try to spark it back up, it'll hopefully come back on again, but it's finding the zest and the passion when I'm hardly the most confident fish in the pond. In fact, I'm completely devoid of confidence, and I've often said I hate who I am. Without getting too embroiled, I don't respect myself. I really don't. I make promises and deadlines that fail to hit home and recently I've hardly adhered to them. I really haven't.

I'm not quitting art altogether. This is what all artists and writers and poets go through... the creative block is the biggest fear of all three... when the spark dries up. And believe me, I've had creative block before, and it creeps up on you. This time around, the demands of a world outside writing and sketching and so forth are partly to blame for my slowing down in terms of creative passion. Despite my efforts this summer I've not been able to find a job, and I'm still struggling to secure work for the autumn. I'm poorer than a craphouse rat. Things kinda drain the passion that you put into other areas out of you, and whilst I'm wholly responsible for my lack of progress, continuity and overall CONTACT that I've been keeping, I hope to cut the block in half very, very soon. After the postponing of Ep 7 I looked at the script and started again. I shall go back to it, and finish the job, and make it what I want it to be. It's time for me to stop lying to myself.

Artistic temperament is a very loose cannon, and it can often deprive and distort other people. I have made a vow to myself that I will spend this coming week trying to overcome the artistic apathy within me by exploring what it is about cartooning, writing and poetry that once sparked a fire within me. When I return to Uni, I hope my Creative Writing modules will help to get me back into regular movements. No, not bowel movements.

Now that those metaphors are outta the way, you may now resume usual service!